Jean's Journey

Jean is being restored from a near death-like condition to a previous state of health.  She is not back all the way, but the process is moving along.   She was, of course, admitted to Hospice Care.  In order to be eligible for Hospice care two different physicians must certify that the patient has less than 6 months to live.  In Bonnie's case that was a simple eligibility to meet -- since esophagus cancer patients have a terribly low survival rate with or without treatment -- and since she refused more chemo and radiation before the cancer doctors considered she had "had enough."

Besides these general considerations, the last surgeon that looked at her told her that even WITH surgery to remove the cancer, it would be an 11 hour operation, followed by 30 days in intensive care, and finally resulting in less than a 5% chance of survival. 

That was where Bonnie was at the story on THIS web starts.  She was given a short time to live, had not swallowed food or water for more than two months, and was expected to die.

The most important issue for entering the Hospice has been that Bonnie was willing and able to face the expectation of death, refuse more conventional treatment, and THEN, put all further hope in the alternative remedies which we have published so much about.  The earlier parts of this story are on a couple different web sites, including HERE and HERE.

Here is her photo on July 6, 2004, sitting on the bed next to what we call the "feeding station."  She has two feeding bags -- one on the right is clear liquid a mixture of as much germanium as can be held in solution in water -- perhaps 35% of that bag is pure germanium -- often used in Japan to treat cancer.

The other hanging bag, on the left, is strawberry-flavored concentrated nutrients -- we use a brand sold in Walgreen's Drug Store.   This stuff comes in cans, each can contains 350 calories.  According to the nutritionist she should be getting about 5 cans per day to get enough calories to maintain weight. 

Never during this process was she able to tolerate 5 cans, hardly ever four.  As a consequence she lost weight on a steady basis, hitting a low of 112 about the first day she was admitted into the hospice program.

Today, Tuesday, July 6, 2004, she weighed 116 -- a very fine weight gain despite the too-low number of daily calories.  The weight gain MAY be caused by the body using up muscle mass -- since her arms and legs have gotten very flabby during the cancer treatment.

But, as you can see, she is in good spirits.

Today, Sunday, July 11, 2004, we had a exciting event -- Bonnie had a stoppage in her feeding tube.  I, Karl, worried about this for more than obvious reasons.  In any event I wrote two letters to the medical people describing my concerns.  The problem was resolved easily, when the Hospice Nurse visited -- these Hospice Nurses are very calm and proficient.

Click here to read those letters.

Bonnie is now scheduled to "find out" about a "swallowing test" on Wednesday, July 14th.  Presumably the swallowing test will be followed by a further procedure, yet to be described.  It could be another endoscopy to use the balloon or shunt to open up the blocked esophagus -- if that is what is blocked. 

When and as Bonnie can swallow, and eat, we expect to go on a quick vacation -- probably Hawaii.

The cancer?  Well, the doctors would say that, "You are never cured of cancer -- it can go into remission.  If that happens, you should continue to get 'preventive' chemotherapy, and checkups every six months."

There is no way that Bonnie would ever again submit herself to chemo or radiation -- that has been a hard lesson to learn, but she and I have learned it well and stand ready to preach that message to the world!

The problem is ONLY PARTLY the terrible harm done by chemo and radiation, it is much more in the lack of morality in this field of cancer research and cancer treatment.  MORALS are lacking first -- and the primary moral precept which is lacking is:  "Seek to live with the truth."

As I wrote in many other places, this journey with Bonnie, during these last few months, has changed the remainder of my career and life -- to one of promoting honest research and morality for the field of health.

That will be done with my continuing research and publishing mostly to two new web sites -- this one, and also the Church of Compassionate Service.

Today, July 12, we have a remarkable event.

Yesterday, Sunday, July 11, 2004, Bonnie developed considerable pain in her stomach.  She had been encouraged about having the "swallow test" but one day of unexplained pain was enough for us to, again, be discussing death.  Those discussions continue to be with no grief -- just simple exchanges.  I have never resisted Bonnie's decisions on this -- for death or more treatment.

We put on an extra Hospice Pain Patch, Sunday night, and she took a sleeping pill -- and I also loaded her up with acidophilus through her feeding tube.

Now, the pain COULD be a return of the cancer -- the pain was in that same area.  Or, it COULD be what I think is happening:

The chemo and radiation shrank the cancer by "at least 30%" and we have been using many different alternative remedies all along -- so they may have had more effect than the radiation -- we don't know for sure what caused the shrinkage, or even how much, but that was good news.

Even so, the part of the cancer that is still there?  Is it alive, or dead?  "Dead cancer" would show up as a mass in the CAT Scan, so the fact that the "cancer has shrunk 30%" could mean that all the cancer is dead, but some of the dead cancer remains.

How does that dead cancer mass get removed from the body?  I've written about that extensively, but only let me say here that I was giving "Gravison" to Bonnie -- a combination of South American herbs said to help remove cancer from the body -- whether dead or alive.

So, this pain in the stomach could be live cancer, growing, and causing pain.

Or, it could be that she took in MORE GRAVISON than her body could tolerate -- like these little "dead meat-eating herbs" were TOO active and caused some stomach upset. 

Which?

An optimist looks for the good-news explanation.

A "cancer victim" looks on the bad side of things.

She added one more pain patch, so perhaps that caused the pain to reduce?  However, the next day she removed the extra pain patch, and 12 hours later (time for the patch effect to wear off) she had no pain -- so the very good news here is that the pain was apparently not caused by cancer that was growing -- else the removal of the pain patch would have allowed the "hidden pain" to re-appear.

Or, maybe the fact that I temporarily stopped using Gravison and loaded her up with Acidophilus caused the pain to go?

Monday morning she felt fine -- practically no more pain.  She even dressed and we went looking for a new home to buy -- out for more than 3 hours.  On the way back from looking I was hungry and she agreed (first time in 5-6 weeks) to sit in the restaurant and "watch me eat." 

She, of course, is still not swallowing.

Well, I had a slice of orange in my iced tea -- she took a small piece, nibbled and actually swallowed a small piece of orange -- first food in more than two months.

Now, that's good news.

I think the odds are that a piece of dead meat got eaten up by that Gravison, and there was a bit of stomach upset at handling stuff -- and by Monday morning she was feeling fine.  If that had been cancer growing, then only the increased pain medication could explain that -- but not the swallowing -- not "feeling good."  We also count on the white blood cells -- the macrophages -- to take away dead cancer tissue.

So, we look at this last Monday as good news.

The swallowing test is scheduled for soon.

The Hospice people have considered all this and suggested, we agreed, to dismiss her from the Hospice Tuesday, July 13, so she is again covered by the insurance that will pay for the swallow test and other remedies for swallowing, if needed.

She can always go back into the Hospice if she wants -- the death sentence is not lifted at all -- doctors agree that she will die -- because cancer of the esophagus is fatal -- early.

Next week, there will be more current news about my dear wife.

Karl

July 13th.

Bonnie is feeling quite good -- we are off to a movie and riding in the car a bit.  Since Bonnie has been in the Hospice care we never miss an opportunity to rise about 2 AM and sit out on our bedroom porch -- watching the stars and animals and talking.

Tuesday morning, after dawn, we again sat out there and I took the photo of Bonnie on the left -- she objects to pictures showing her without makeup, but I then allowed her to take the photo on the right -- and I sure look better than that when my hair is brushed!

Both of us are pleased with the events of the day.  We went out to a movie -- The Two Brothers -- first movie we've seen for many weeks, and a delightful "feel good" movie.

July 15, 2004

We walked out of watching Harry Potter yesterday -- our tastes have changed to less violence and drama -- more comedy and fun.

There was a break-through event this Thursday morning.  Depending on how much you have read about Jean's Journey, you might know that she not been able to swallow or eat for several months.  We look for any tiny change that might occur.

One of those changes was this morning -- about 7 AM.  I woke up, Bonnie was beside me, gagging.  She used to do lots of that, not much recently, but this was certainly gagging!

But this time it was very different.  She said she tasted "bile" in her "spit."  That is very significant.

Let me tell you why.

Bile is a complex fluid containing water, electrolytes and a battery of organic molecules including bile acids, cholesterol, phospholipids and bilirubin that flows through the biliary tract into the small intestine. There are two fundamentally important functions of bile in all species. 

Large amounts of bile acids are secreted into the intestine every day, but only relatively small quantities are lost from the body. This is because approximately 95% of the bile acids delivered to the duodenum are absorbed back into blood within the ileum.  Source

The "duodenum" is at the beginning of the small intestine.  Normally the bile acts WITHIN the duodenum to process fats.  If some of the bile escapes up into the stomach, and then comes further upwards, into the mouth, as when you vomit, you will recognize the terribly bitter taste of "bile."

If you have read this entire journey you may remember that all during the days when Bonnie was "regurgitating" she never tasted any "bile."  That was because she was "coughing up" only material which had gone down, partway, into the esophagus.  No bile there.

The photo on the left is of a "spasm" in the sphincter muscle -- the muscle that closes and opens at the bottom end of the esophagus.  The full story about this photo, and spasms in the esophagus, is HERE.

The point here is that a "spasm" is an involuntary closure or tightening of a muscle -- such as the "sphincter muscle" in the esophagus.  If THAT muscle is closed, food cannot pass through.  If you try to swallow food with a closed sphincter you get "regurgitation" which is food (or water" coming "back up" but without "bile" since the source of the spasm is above the source of the bile.

If the spasm, however, is in the juncture between the stomach and the top of the small intestine (called the duodenum) then the contents of the duodenum (bile) will come up into the stomach, and pass through an open sphincter muscle in the esophagus.

Thus, bile in the mouth is a sign of spasm lower in the belly, and a sign that the esophagus is open.

So, what could cause a swallowing problem if not a spasm in the esophagus?

It could be, and undoubtedly was, a "mass" (cancer) that was growing along side the esophagus and "pushed inward at the esophagus sphincter muscle.  This would not cause a "spasm" but certainly would cause a swallowing problem.

Now, before radiation Bonnie was having trouble swallowing, but it was not total -- it was somewhat irregular. 

We know from the radiation doctor that radiation of the cancer near the esophagus is going to cause irritation of the cancer tissue and that means "swelling" of that tissue.  He, in fact, predicted with great certainty that Bonnie would ultimately be unable to swallow anything -- because of the radiation.

(He also predicted that the 'swollen tissue' would reduce, normally, after three weeks of no radiation.  It did not!  Why?  Possibly because there was more swelling than he predicted, or there was less removal of the dead cancer than he expected.)

So now, after more than six weeks following end of radiation, the swallowing is getting better?

Why?

Could it be what I had described much earlier.  The cancer was irritated by the radiation, then the cancer tissue enlarged, and that enlargement closed the esophagus (not the sphincter muscle, probably) so she could not swallow.

What if that cancer was killed by the radiation, but the enlarged tissue was still there, not "getting smaller" because there was too big a job for the normal white blood cells to do -- their job is to eat the dead meat.

Many of the remedies I was giving Bonnie are designed to increase the immune system action, including the white blood cells whose job it is to eat dead meat.

So, you can see that the improvement in swallowing was shown the first time Bonnie tasted bile in her mouth. There had been "something" irritating the sphincter muscle between the stomach and the duodenum, causing a spasm, causing a sensation of "wanting to vomit."  Bonnie had exactly that sensation about 10 days ago -- very painful because she was not able to vomit --in other words the esophagus was not sufficiently open to allow these powerful stomach spasms to push the bile up into the mouth.

But yesterday, there WAS bile in her mouth -- so the stomach spasm was able to push bile into her mouth.

What could cause a spasm in a stomach that has been empty for six weeks or more?

How about the Taheebo technology that "Taheebo causes the cancer to die, and then the dead mass is caused to 'exit the body' in whatever way it can?"

Is it conceivable that the cancer (outside the actual stomach) near the esophagus and also near the stomach, was trying to "exit INTO THE STOMACH," as the best exit strategy.

A piece of that dead cancer broke through the wall of the stomach and now gave the stomach a new digestion problem.  Could that new stomach problem have caused a spasm, causing a sensation and action of vomiting?

I think so.

So, we have the great good news that bile was able to pass up through the esophagus, AND a possible reason for a stomach spasm.

How much of this do the traditional cancer doctors believe?  None!

How much of this have you EVER seen anywhere else in the world?  I suspect NONE!

Can you see, now, that every possible action, or reaction, MIGHT have a "good news" side of things?

What was obvious to me, instantly, was that if Bonnie could "gag" (rather similar to vomiting) and then taste "bile" in her mouth, then that bile found its way from the lower end of the stomach up through the esophagus into the mouth -- there is no other explanation.

This was a spark of hope -- a light at the end of the tunnel

The next day we feel we got out of the tunnel -- made a giant step forward on the path of restoration from a death-like condition to a previous state of health.

That story is told in much more detail at THIS LINK, but is summarized here:

Bonnie expected to be able to say to the doctor, "I can't swallow anything, so I don't see how this barium test will work!"

He must be used to having such comments.

He simply said, "OK, just take some sips."

She did -- and they "went down" more easily than she expected.  But, she was not volunteering to drink great gulps!

So, he said, "Are you unable to swallow, or afraid to swallow?"

I have written one of my most philosophical articles on the subject of "being unwilling" versus "being unable"  here.  I urge you to read that again, even if you have read it before.

What a fateful question.  The honest answer is only "unwilling" but the answer that was very real to Bonnie was, "Both!"

He then encouraged her to drink larger gulps of the liquid.  Now, I suspect very strongly she would not have done that at MY urging, but for the doctor she gave it a try.

Amazing!

She swallowed large gulps of the stuff -- he then showed her on the X-Ray where the esophagus was very restricted in one spot -- but told her that she could, indeed, swallow, and even eat food!

The opening in the esophagus was about 1/4 inch -- not much, but plenty for a good start.

He showed the results of swallowing all the way down into the stomach.

She was very, very pleased.

We left the doctor's office and went to a restaurant so I could eat breakfast -- Bonnie ate more food at that restaurant than she had eaten, in total, for more than two months.

This looked like the beginning of a total solution to what had been plaguing her as the largest problem of living -- not swallowing.

The picture on the left was taken on Sunday, July 18, 2004.  The picture on the right was taken at the same time.

What you see is an "outer shell."  It is a body made of meat -- there is a happy soul inside, but the body still can be hiding problems!

The picture on the left was also taken the same day.  Do you see two happy people?

She has fallen somewhat back into the "afraid" category, but she is not regularly swallowing, even soup and soft foods.

However, on Sunday, July 18, she went out to breakfast with me, swallowed some water and got stopped by a blockage.  The blockage persisted.

I gave her the explanation I developed in full detail at a web site called www.painstudy.com  where I describe how "pain" (or a blockage) can be created.

The first time your toe is hit by a hammer, it hurts. There is a physical damage to the toe, at that instant.  The damage causes immediate irritation and inflammation to the tissues -- and there is a nerve signal sent from the toe to the brain.   This is how pain, or a feeling of discomfort starts -- it has a real physical explanation.

However, a few weeks later, pain is now gone from the toe -- you can "see a hammer" and "remember" the pain incident.  Then you "see a picture" of the hammer in the earlier incident, and that image, finding its way into the brain SENDS A NERVE IMPULSE of pain to the toe -- it is the opposite direction of the original signal, but it is real enough to cause the toe to hurt -- even to get inflamed.  There was no actual hammer hitting the toe, you understand, but the toe, nonetheless hurt -- and the hurt was real.

But, that hurt was also caused by an image in your mind, traveling, then, to your brain, traveling then through the nerve channels, and stopping at the toe.  You cannot tell the difference between the pain going from the toe to the brain and the pain going from the brain to the toe -- both are experienced as real pain. There is inflammation connected with each direction of nerve flow.  Click here for more details.

Now there is a new problem -- one that I've done gobs of research on, and will be describing here.

I am now somewhat an (new) expert on vomiting!  Here are the usual reasons for vomiting:

Poison in the stomach

Poison or toxic material may get into the stomach from spoiled food, drinking poison or acid, drinking too much alcohol, allergic reaction, or through an illness.  [Karl Note:  Dead Cancerous mass would undoubtedly also be "poison" and if the body is trying to get rid of a mass too big to be "metabolized" the mass might "exit" into the stomach, and cause stomach upset!

Spoiled food

Spoiled food may have bacteria that produce harmful toxins. Usually throwing up will rid the body of such toxins. In some cases, toxins from the e coli bacteria get into the system so quickly that the vomiting reaction isn't sufficient to protect against death.

Drinking poison

Certainly drinking some poisonous material can cause serious damage or death. In some cases vomiting helps to rid the body of the poison. In the case of drinking an acid or some caustic liquid, it is better to provide a buffer the neutralize the material than to have the person vomit, which might cause even more damage.

Alcohol

When so much alcohol is consumed that the body cannot process it, the person may start to vomit. Otherwise the person may pass out and could even die from alcohol poisoning.

Allergic reaction

A person who is allergic to certain types of food may throw up, as a result of ingesting that food. One example is if a person is lactic intolerant and drinks some milk or eats some ice cream. That person may then vomit to rid the body of the undesirable material.

Disease

A person may become ill or contract a disease in various ways. Some diseases result in toxins within the stomach. In such a case, the person may throw up to help rid the body of those toxins.

Other reasons

There are times when a person will throw up for reasons other than to rid the stomach of poisons or toxins.

One example is when some pregnant women suffer from morning sickness, causing them to throw up upon waking up in the morning. It is typically caused by the pressure of the pregnancy on the stomach, especially when laying down at night. It is not a beneficial reaction and can make the pregnancy very uncomfortable for the women affected by this malady.

In conclusion

Vomiting or throwing up is usually a beneficial process to help protect a person from serious injury or even death. The body reacts quickly and violently to rid the stomach of any harmful material. In some cases, like morning sickness, it is an unfortunate side effect that is not beneficial.  (Source)

 

Bonnie has now started vomiting actions, fairly often.  However, there is no food that she has swallowed.  So, what could be causing her to "gag" and bring up "bile" which is what is associated with the vomiting action?

Could it be good news?

More to come.

July 20, 2004

This is another piece of "recovery."  Bonnie had been wearing a pain patch -- Duragesic.  This is actually a time-release narcotic -- a heavy drug -- dosed in micrograms per hour -- this was at 50.  She took off that patch and doesn't expect to put it back on.  That is a tremendous step forward -- not so dramatic as some of the others, more recent, but she has a long way to go, now, to get rid of the toxins in her body from chemo, and put back her weight (and muscles) that have been lost because of two months' of not being able to eat or swallow anything.

Off the drug is a big deal!

Three Hours Later!

Upset stomach (the cancer trying to break through??) and pain, so back on the pain patch and a "feeding" of Vicodin!

Well, it is not all smooth sailing!

July 26, 2004

Bonnie responds nicely to "husband logic."  She has been willing to increase her tube-feeding rate because, as I said, it is not just important to gain weight for the purpose of gaining weight, but also because it is only the protein in your daily food intake that repairs and rebuilds structure, including any organs or tissue that may have been damaged by the chemo, radiation, or cancer.  So, she now accepts a greater urgency to gaining weight (actually increasing the number of daily calories).

The photo on the left was taken on Monday morning, July 26, 2004.  She looks great to me!

A constant companion for anyone traveling this journey is surely the pet dog or cat in her life.  "Raja" is our Maltese.  He sleeps on the bed and is never far from one or the other of us.  He is doing poorly just now.

The current news is "wait!"  Wait until the insurance for some procedure is approved, then wait for the appointment, then wait for the results to be sent to someone who is allowed to interpret them.  That process is described in a letter I prepared describing the medical procedures I thought were now called for -- even as we continue to "pour on" the alternative remedies on an intense schedule. Click here for that letter to the doctors.

August 4, 2004

Some dramatic events have occurred just now.

First, I've made an interesting research breakthrough on "swallowing" and how that problem continues for Bonnie, and why.  I'll be writing about that soon.

Next, our patience has worn thin with the deliberate delays by the insurance companies, and on this date I filed a formal letter of complaint about "denial of service" for Bonnie's care.

The "protocol" that I had planned for Bonnie's continuing recovery was previously referenced, and is HERE.

However, that protocol depended on getting insurance coverage for the various procedures.  CLICK HERE to read my formal complaint.

Finally, Bonnie (Jean) continues in good spirits and we make progress on her recovery.  Here is the latest photo.

For anyone who has been following my life through these many pages, for many years, you may want to know that we felt we had to put down our dog, Raja, a couple days ago.  That too, is just another philosophical way station on our journey through life.

The complaint to the insurance company about denial of service was accepted.  The insurance company reversed the denial and approved Bonnie for the PET scan that we had requested.  This was a major victory, not only for Bonnie, but for anyone who is battling with an insurance company.  The complaint, 13 pages long, was filed with the State of California, and the insurance Company.  You can read that entire document HERE.

On August 19, 2004, Bonnie got the report of miracle -- by PET scan that showed no trace of cancer.

That storey is fully told HERE, and the photo a few days later shows an even more jubilant Bonnie.  The scanned copy of the PET report is HERE.

The future treatment plans are here.

KL.